half-tank refill

had my long overdue one-to-one with my boss last friday. it's usually bi-annual thing, but i guess we both got caught up with the drills of work. to give you an idea of how hectic our lives are, when we see each other in school in the morning, instead of the usual, "hi," she greets me with "kamusta ka na, teach?" to which i usually reply with a deep sigh. last friday, over lunch, she posed the question again. in response, all i could say was, "tired."

in the past year, it seems that i've run out of gas. i don't think that i was built to write 3 daily lesson plans and teach 3 different subjects... and wait til you meet my kids! it can burn you up pretty quickly. it actually makes me excited to not teach next schoolyear and just review for my MA comprehensives.

earlier tonight, i was de-cluttering the files on my computer when i stumbled on the following piece. it's an assignment i turned in for an MA class a couple of years ago for a video we viewed one Saturday morning.

MOLDER OF DREAMS

I never thought, that at age 34, I would be back in school again. I always thought that my Bachelor’s Degree was enough education for me. Perhaps, if I had a teacher such as Mr. Doud, my attitude would be a lot different.

The film, “Molder of Dreams,” recounts Mr. Doud’s achievements as an educator. Perhaps greater than his winning the National Teacher Award and the opportunity to meet the President of the United States, Mr. Doud’s greatest achievements would be the very lives of his students that he has been able to affect by personally knowing them - beyond grades and papers.

“Lives are more important than lessons.” His life as a student is a testimony of this. He related how, in his youth, he always considered himself to be a nobody until his third grade teacher paid him notice as a somebody – not as a trouble student or an underachiever, but a person with a life and a story to tell.

I remember how, in the film, the class knew – and cared to know - very little about Scott until Mr. Doud prompted him to tell his story. All people want to be valued, whether they say so or not.

As a preschool teacher, this could not be any truer. I have seen how young children clamor for attention in as many fashions as I have students. I have one in particular that easily caught the class’ attention, a 5-year old girl with cerebral palsy. For the first few weeks of class, some of the children treated her differently; others were even cruel. I invited her mother to speak to the class one morning to tell the children how her daughter was just like them, how she was different from them, and how they can all help her in class. That small exercise made waves of differences in how the children have since related to her.

It was the loving thing to do. Mr. Doud tries to see Christ in each of his students; I became a teacher because of my great love for Christ and for children. As a teacher, I have been given a great opportunity to be able to mold a child, a person, a life. As a Christian and a Catholic, I try as much as I can to do this lovingly – shaping their young hearts and minds for Jesus.

that girl is still in our school, now in grade 1. she still "wobbles" when she walks (she wears braces on both legs), but she hugs with the strength of a bear whenever she sees me. she hugs as if i were the next best thing to santa claus! and though i may not be in a race for "teacher of the year," i count her as one of my achievements.

re-reading the piece convicted me of my weariness. beyond the paper work and the deadlines, it's the lives that teachers touch that count. i've found my groove again. mondays aren't so bad anymore... but fridays still do look better :)