ninong benny

i attempted five times to finish this entry, and failed; each time ended with me sobbing. i still do. but this has to be done. below is my eulogy to my uncle benny whom i sorely miss.

it took his death to resurrect my blog. how ironic. part of me refused to write about him because part of me refused to accept that he was gone. it's like burying your father twice.

more than an uncle and a godfather, what he was to me, was a father. when dad passed, he stood as father, teacher, and counselor, not just to me and my siblings, but to the many whom his life has touched and changed. he was our patriarch; he championed family traditions and values that mark who we, as a family, are today. and though i know that many call him "ninong" as well, i'd like to think that i was the original. i was, after all, his godchild for forty years... and that for me is a big thing.

i share three things with ninong benny.

first is my name -- sulit. in the filipino language, my surname means "worth every centavo." it's not a very easy name to live up to, especially when those who precede you leave such big shoes to fill and cast huge shadows. dad and ninong benny were giants; imagine the footprints they left behind.

ninong benny taught me that anything worth doing was worth doing well. HE certainly did. he worked well, taught well, ate well, lived well, and loved well. just take a look at his house. it took him 10 years to "build" it, so much so that carpenters and painters became permanent fixtures and residents. he went through every meticulous detail and didn't stop until he was satisfied.

like him, i am a teacher. i remember him being pleased with my decision to leave my colorful and high-paying corporate job to teach. he too gave up a lot - an opportunity to raise his family abroad where the grass was "greener." but, no. wife and two young kids in tow, he came back, not just to build his medical career, but more importantly probably, to teach. he taught as a way of giving back to the country he so much loved. that passion made him a much sought-after mentor for only the brave. true to his name, he taught very well... but he also expected the same, if not more, from his residents. i guess he wanted everyone to be a sulit (and what's wrong with that?).

by my many conversations with him, i thought that there wasn't a question that he didn't know the answer to. what he knew, he shared to many... not just his residents, but to his children, grandchildren, and anyone who had the time and privilege to sit beside him and chat with him.

like him too, i am big... but ninong was not just physically big; he did everything BIG. he had a big house and threw big parties. he had to, because he was a man with a big heart. his annual birthday parties were were so well-attended that it went on for hours and was known to blow a fuse or two in more than one occasion.

he gave even when he had nothing to give. so generous was this man that he even shared his own family with me. many times he told me reassuringly, "alam mo naman na anak kita, diba?" (you DO know that you are my daughter, don't you?) THAT i knew, never doubted, and lived out. so enjoined am i to his family that often times, when aly and i introduce ourselves, we claim, "magkapatid kami; iba lang ang mga magulang namin." (we're siblings; we just have different parents.)

he was always known for his hospitality. of this, the bible says, "let brotherly love continue. do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (hebrews 13: 1 - 2) safe to say that ninong did his Godly duty. i'd like to think that all of us who have benefited from his hospitality are "benny's angels." we should only be so lucky.

whenever i saw ninong, i would always greet him with a buzz on both cheeks. he would insist on it with his hearty line, "other side!" i know that i can longer do that to him... but not forever. i look forward to the day that i could do that again, when we meet "on the other side."

rest well, ninong. it's time to go home.