procrastinating

if there's one thing i'm good at, it's procrastinating. must be a family thing (read alymama's blog).

i work well under pressure; i thrive on it. that was the reason my former boss gave me all the live staging projects we were awarded. the work was feverish, the tension was thick, and the commission was really good.

it's how i operate. give me the whole day to do something - especially something cerebral - and i will sleep the whole morning and while the entire afternoon before starting on it after dinner - say around 10 p.m. but! i won't let at it until i finish, which could be until 9 the next morning (that too seems to run in the genes. i often computer marathon with my workaholic mother).

modesty aside, some of my best works are products of cramming. the school newsletters, my genogram, my MA papers... whenever i'd complain about how i hated going back to school and dreaded the reports, a former colleague of mine would always nudge and reassure me saying, "kaya mo 'yan! pagpupuyatan mo lang 'yan ng dalawang gabi, tapos mauuno mo pa 'yan."

buti lang naniwala ako sa kanya. she seemed to have more confidence in me than i do in myself. and here i am blogging, when i have yet another paper (a feasibility study) and presentation due in two weeks. the concept's all in my head; just need to get it on paper (i have the logo down). i need that push again.

is it healthy to procrastinate? i would think no. will i stop then? HELL, NO! mwahaha!

fine, fine, fine. i will stop procrastinating... tomorrow.

maligaya sa Ligaya

i write this blog at the risk of sounding preachy. i don't care. i am a Christian and proud of it!

i met Jesus six years ago and He forever changed my life. i don't know how i managed to live so long without truly having Him as a friend. He's been around, always in the background; allowing me to stay in the limelight when it was always Him who should have been there.

last year, i moved to a different community, the Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon. He's there too. they certainly live up to their name, i can tell you that! once a month, we gather as a sector and worship together. today was that day.

i always look forward to these gatherings. God is truly alive in the lives of these people. He speaks to us... literally! today, God sang to me.

as we gathered to worship, the Spirit befell on Jun Cruz and Kuya Jun sang so beautifully! He called us "My sons and daughters," a title i have always been called. Menchie came up to the mic next and sang as well. through her, God called us "sons and daughters of the Spirit" and she continued to spread His message. absolutely lovely!

i had my eyes closed most of the time. when i finally opened my eyes, i saw a sight that jolted me. there in the center of the gathering, was a man whose profile was the spitting image of my father! i couldn't take my eyes off of him!

i pointed him out to amy and diday, who were sitting next to me. diday gave me his name. i don't recall it. it doesn't matter. diday verbalized what i had felt all along. truly, Ligaya has become my family! dad was even there. i am spoiled to this day.

I AM GOD's DAUGHTER. i know it! i feel it! i love it!

if a=b, and b=c...

so miguel cozies up to me while i'm at the computer yet again. as i try to distract him from my feeble attempts to work, i try to get some sugar from him in the process.

ninang: make me lambing.
miguel: i love you thiiiiiiiis much (makes a HUGE circle that reaches his back)
ninang: what else?
miguel: we will always be friends.
ninang: what else?
miguel: i will always, always, always love you, even if you're mad at me.

ninang pathetically asks for more.

ninang: what else?
miguel: i hope we will always be close.

ninang, fishing, drops a clue (which is even more pathetic)

ninang: am i fat?
miguel: yes

heart breaks here. kids never lie (sigh). kasi naman noh?! okay, okay, i should have quit while i was ahead, but dang it, i will have the last laugh here!

light bulb goes on.

ninang: who is fatter, tito a or ninang?
miguel: tito a
ninang: so, is ninang fat?
miguel: no.

definitely quit here. aaaah... syllogisms! ü